Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Banality Fair Goes To Vegas, Part 4

The key to enjoying a bad show is to be super buzzed. Not drunk, because that would be too much. When Sigfried & Roy take on the Ice Queen when you are super buzzed, you laugh. When they do that when you are drunk, you want to punch Roy in the cod piece and save her. Its a matter of degrees.

M. Fresh spent Carrot Top day drinking mildly and gambling. I'd scraped back by $150 at the blackjack tables at the Wynn. We got back to the hotel with an hour to spare. We invested in two 24 ounce Fosters and got prepped for the evening. We split one, then headed to the bar.

Joseph K: A double vodka tonic
M: Fresh: A regular vodka tonic

The bartender said he recognized us from "before." Could be real. I don't have a familiar face, unless you are familiar with me. I slurped down the last sip. There it was, the sweet buzz. We were ready. Amped.

Carrot Top is easily, and unquestionably the worst stand up comic I've ever seen in person. He is a special kind of badness that should be kept locked up in a safe. I honestly cannot recall one joke or bit. His screechy personality sliced through my brain, and bled the buzz out of me. There was no amount I could have drank that would have cushioned the blow of his ineptitude. His principal error was eschewing the prop comic shtick and trying to do jokes. His jokes were dead smelly fish. He was rotting. Inside. And the funk wafted over and clung to us.

Every two minutes I turned to M. Fresh and said, "Enough?" She had more guts than me. She kept wating for it to get better. It never did. We merely suffered.

Until it came time for the helicopter ride. It was time for something completely different.


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