A Celebration of Spirit on Mars

The nerds at NASA are celebrating the one year anniversary of the Rover, Spirit's, mission on Mars. The celebration will involve hot Spirit rover programming, ever entertaining NASA news conferences, rover cake (crunchy, losts of iron), and, as per most NASA celebrations, hookers.

Spirit has been involved in the very important work of confirming that (i) there are rocks on Mars and (ii) they are red. Mission accomplished at a total Rover mission cost of between $800 million and $1 billion. Clearly, this mission is worth it and defensible; don't those tsunami victims and UN officials just seem so whiny asking for a few hundred million in aid by comparison. Where are the red rocks in Aceh? Its rocks are already familiar.

But, if Spirit ever evolves and becomes self-aware, it will surely come to hate its human overlords. These faceless voices sent our lonley hero to a cold, distant place to travel an empty landscape just because. Isn't this scenario at the beginning of most sci-fi horror flicks, where the machines evolve and then attempt to take over the world and enslave humanity because of such folly? If so, Spirit, hear me know: I am ready to name names and help you enslave the "fleshies." Just say the word.