The Shuffling Crew Comeback That Wasn't

The Onion has this piece on an apparently failed Shuffling Crew comeback attempt. This is one of my favorite Onion articles. Some highlights:

• "[The new album] will definitely reflect our maturation as a group and as individuals," said [Fridge] Perry, who may be large but is no dumb cookie. "Back then, we were young, wild and arrogant: Jim [McMahon] had his spiked hair, shades and controversial, message-bearing headbands, and I had my legendary eating exploits and rushing touchdowns. We kind of had this attitude like, 'We're so bad, we know we're good, blowing your mind like we knew we would.' But while the new record will still have that trademark Shufflin' Crew swagger, it will also show our more reflective side."
• All of the original Shufflin' Crew members are expected to participate in the reunion except Otis Wilson, who told Spin magazine in a recent interview that his "heart just isn't in it anymore."
  "Back when the group first started, we were just struttin' for fun," Wilson said. "But once we hit it big, everything changed. Suddenly, there were business meetings, publicity appearances, video shoots, sponsorship deals. Before long, it wasn't about the music anymore. That's when I knew I had to get out."
• In negotiating terms for the new album with Geffen Records, the Shufflin' Crew made one demand: complete creative control over the project.
  "We made it clear that under no circumstances would we allow participation by the female referee who twice blew a whistle over our singers' attempts to say the word 'ass' during the 'Shuffle' sessions," backup vocalist Steve Fuller said. "The Bears traffic in the truth, and either you can handle it or you can't. Censorship is slavery."
• One of the most successful American bands of the mid-'80s, the Shufflin' Crew broke up in May 1986 due to creative differences and infighting, particularly between Gault and keyboardist Gary Fencik. Gault embarked on a solo career in 1987 and scored a minor hit with the song 'Chocolate Swirl (That's What I'm As Smooth As),' but never equaled the success he had with the Shufflin' Crew. Fencik and Fuller went on to form the band Touchback with New York Giants wide receiver Phil McConkey.