Wednesday, March 29, 2006

I See Dead People

Four o'clock flight from Miami to D.C. I am walking down the aisle to my seat in the ass of the plane. Through first class. Hmm, that guy seems familiar. Abbe Lowell. A relatively famous D.C. lawyer. Who is the fat guy in a baseball cap sitting next to him? So familiar. Then, it hits me. It's Jack Abramhoff.

I'd known he was in Miami; I was there on business and a U.S. Marshall told me he was being sentenced today. He got six years. Not enough, but something. I was meeting with some folks near the court house, and it had been a zoo.

I have a history of confronting political celebs. I got into a weird staredown with Bob Dole once on the U.S. Airways shuttle from DC to NY (I'll admit he won; that motherfucker is even scarier and cadaverous in real person. I thought he was going to eat my brains.). Then there was the time I ignored Oliver North when he said hi to me on a plane. He was sitting right next to me. Fuck him. He even offered me his peanuts, and I looked at him like he had slightly mispronounced the word and was offering something else. I told Jerry Brown in 1992 that he'd lose the Democratic nomination because he refused to shake my hand.

My moment with Abramhoff was too fleeting for me to cause trouble. But, he wasn't my only brush with celebrity. This guy I know in Miami owns a boat, and he took a colleague and mine out for a cruise around the waterways around Miami last night. We ended up cruising Star Island. I saw the giant Shaquille O'Neal bobblehead on Shaq's pier. And learned that Gloria Estfan really, really likes huts. It was huts everywhere.


Blogger Natalia said...

My roommate freshman year had this friend, her response to anything that was at all glamorous, or seemingly glamorous, was to wiggle her shoulders and exlaim "SO jet-set!"

I'm doing that at my computer right now. Can you picture me?

Oh, and Oliver North? Sucks. But he was only trying to be nice with the peanuts, I imagine...

You are rather more irate than I am. I turn into a puddle of mush around the worst kinds of political opponents. I don't know why. I just have this Jesus complex thing around people like that. Not that they have one around me.

12:25 AM  
Blogger Joseph K said...

These are just my run-ins with political types. I once told Spike Lee to "Do the right thing" in his next movie (he didn't laugh, but he's not exactly Mr. Chuckles). And, Bill Nye the Science Guy and I once sat next to each other on a red eye from Seattle. We both drank vodka tonics and objectified this one super hot flight attendant.

Re Oliver North, nice?!? he would have traded his mom if it meant arming right wing totalitarian groups. Fuck him.

I have this weird sense of entitlement when it comes to politicos. Like they owe me. Yet another element of my overall narcissism.

6:49 PM  
Blogger troutsky said...

Who doesnt like huts? And politicians do carry a huge debt to all of us for the part they play, the fun they have, at our expense.

2:55 AM  

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