Tuesday, March 14, 2006


Seems like almost every one of my friends is expecting a child or just had one. On Sunday, I went over to my friend N's house; he and his wife had just had a baby girl.

I thought I was just to come in, take a peek at the baby, spend an hour with N talking about what the Redskins will be doing in free agency this year, and then head home.

Apparently, my friends really don't love their child, because they immediately handed me the baby. I wasn't quite sure how to handle it without breaking it. Should I carry her around by gently biting the scruff of her neck like a cat? If I didn't hold her right, wouldn't her back break or something. And here were these maniacs handing her to me.

She was small. Cute little thing. Pretty mellow. She seemed comfortable. Maybe I was doing this right. Maybe she sensed my vibe and dug me. It wasn't so bad.

Then she farted. Think it was more than a fart, actually. Yeah, that was about right. Back to daddy.

On my way out, N suggested I give his daughter a kiss goodbye. Let me tell you something about me: I am not a terribly affectionate person. I shake my parents hands when I see them. And now he wanted me to give this little stranger a smooch on the forehead. I almost didn't know how to do it.

Recently, I was thinking I was ready to have a kid. Seeing the way she was already making N a better man, I think that's right.


Blogger Jenn said...

lol! The whole baby thing is rather virulent... :D And, if the timing works out, you'll score some awesome hand-me-downs (we didn't know we needed 1/2 the stuff we've been given - but it's all good to have).

10:07 PM  
Blogger Philofaxer said...

As one of the friends referenced in your first sentence, let me say this: I will not make you kiss my baby. I make no promises, however, about what I may make the baby do to you.

8:52 AM  
Blogger Natalia said...

Speaking from my abcess-induced hell... Reading blogs to distract myself from the searing pain...

The first time I held my baby brother, my mother was shocked. I was holding him right! I actually prepared myself for the historic event by watching all of those cheesy baby comedies.

8:22 AM  
Blogger Joseph K said...

Philofaxer: That is a relief. Maybe your baby can teach me poker (so your wife doesn't house me everytime we play)?

Natalia: Agh. I hope the pain goes away soon...

8:20 PM  

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