Why I Don't Dance Anymore

A buddy and me were talking yesterday about getting harrassed by significant others about how neither of us want to go out to the club to dance.

Both my buddy and I used to frequent the clubs several years ago. And we did get our respective grooves on when there. And, I wasn't a bad dancer. I think I could get down pretty well. In close quarters anyway.

But, as I get older, I find myself wanting to listen to music. Maybe nod my head. I'll go out to the lounge and listen to some music while rapping about some nonsense. But, I don't feel the desire to move my whole body to some sounds. At least not on a dance floor.

Here's why: unless they are professional dancers, most guys dance to get laid. Before going to the club, the fellas and I didn't talk about how much fun it was going to be to dance that night. We talked about how it would be fresh to dance with some honeys. Take out the honeys, and the fellas and I would just as soon eat glass as go out dancing. Instead, we'd probably watch sports and make fun of each other.

It might seem like we're having fun when we're dancing. But, that smile on our faces is a reflection of our hope that this dancing shit leads to some screwing. I don't know why we smiled everytime, because the success rate was substantially less than 100%.

So when the old lady says, "why don't you feel like going out dancing?" It's because the mission has been accomplished. You'll probably not be shocked to learn that my rationale has been rejected in its entirety. The response I got most recently was, "Bush had more credibility when he declared the Iraq war 'mission accomplished.' Try again." So far, I have managed to avoid having to refight that war...for now.