Reader Mail...Sort Of

Not really reader mail, because we don't get mail or email from our readers. No, instead, I am going to list and comment on some of the more memorable recent search terms that got people here. That's not mail at all. What the hell was I talking about in the subject line? And why won't I just change it instead of babbling in the text?

1. "what can I eat if I am allergic to shellfish" -- Good question. Technically anything. If you want to die, lots of shrimp.

2. "the one that got away" -- ...is not thinking about you. Move on.

3. "silicone valley" -- yes, there really is a wondrous valley of fake breasts. Just beyond the land of "idiots who can't spell" (I'm, like, always there...).

4. "norweigan breasts" -- Sorry, no points. You didn't answer in the form of a question. This is part of the response to the Jeopardy "answer" "things Joseph K has never seen." It's true.

5. "colonel sanders eyeglass frame" -- sometimes, hipsters don't get that some uncool things are just uncool. Like them.

6. "what happened to super sugard crisp cereal" -- your momma did.

7. "latasha kickboxing porn" -- There still are untapped frontiers in the adult film industry.