Friday, January 21, 2005

Self Improvement

I was excited last year when I dropped 20 pounds. That was about 12% or so of my body weight. I was happy to be back in shape, close to my old college fighting weight. I was going on 12 mile hikes, jogging 5 miles a pop.

On one hike, I happened upon a stray emu in a swamp in South Carolina. An emu is a large Australian bird that kind of looks like an ostrich. And like an ostrich, it can't fly. We came across it as we were walking through clearing. It came across out path, looked at up and loped off. At first, I thought is was some sort of giant turkey.When I got back to the ranger's station, I asked him about this giant turkey. Pretty quickly, the ranger dismissed my claim of having seen a five foot tall turkey. He said that someone had been keeping an emu as a pet and when they got tired of it, they let it loose in the swamp/park. At that point the other ranger wondered aloud if he could kill and eat the emu, arguing that it would be legal since it was a non-native species. Luckily for the emu, we convinced the ranger, who was apparently really serious, not to eat the emu.

I disgress. The point is that my accomplishment wasn't shit. Recently, a Half-ton man drops nearly 500 pounds. 500 pounds! Half his weight! Of course, if I had dropped half my weight, people would be setting up an intervention for me, not lauding me. And, now, this newly, svelter man "looks forward to the simple things others take for granted, such as taking out the trash and shoveling snow."

Ah, to live.


Blogger tequilita said...

congrats to you on last year's accomplishment. i know i only have 15 to lose, but it seems like a mountain right now. last year was very stressful for me...i think it's the first time in my life i realized that i was eating for comfort. unfortunately comfort food does not make for comfortable pants.

12:46 AM  
Blogger Joseph K said...

I am not a big fan of gyms, especially when I haven't worked out in a while. Everyone there seems to be better, faster and stronger than me. Maybe that is because they are.

Thankfully, the family got me a treadmill for my birthday/Christmas gift. That device has been a lifesaver. I hop on every evening for about an hour. And when the weather is good, I am tapped into a network of sports activities (pick-up soccer group, golfing, tennis, etc.). I am better running after a ball than just running.

9:13 AM  
Blogger Spiral Stairs said...

I can't stand the smell of gyms -- a really unpleasant mix of body odor, chlorine, and sweaty vinyl.

Fast-forward five years: That guy is going to be trying to put the weight back on, specifically to get out of the "simple things" like taking out the trash and shoveling snow. Actually, now that I think about it, I have an idea. Where is that box of Twinkies?

10:06 AM  
Blogger tequilita said...

'fraid joseph k beat you to that revelation. he's going on a donut binge to avoid such menial tasks as taking out the trash.

and spiral, that "gym smell" ...i walked into a gym for the first time in a while the other day, and as i opened the front doors, i held my breath in anticipation of that "gym smell"...i know EXACTLY what you're talking about. i hate it. and i'm sorry, but sweaty men, in a gym setting...eeew (in some other setting, ahem, not so much), but for all of the reasons we've mentioned, the gym is a loathsome place for me. i can't wait until the days get longer so i can go for walk/jogs in the evenings.

10:42 AM  
Blogger Joseph K said...

In an ideal world, I'd start wolfing those doughnuts down faster. 6 to 9 inches of snow expected today, and I need an excuse not to shovel my driveway.

Unfortunately, though, have to drive some folks to the airport (my prize for having an all wheel drive car, but good luck to them actually flying out today), so I'll have to do it whether I like it or not.

1:28 PM  

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