Sunday, January 16, 2005

Cruel and Unusual Music

I've never been a big fan of the revival of 80s culture. It was a pretty barren decade, as far as I'm concerned. Maybe I'm particularly sour on the 80s because all my unpleasant adolescent experiences were jammed into it. I entered the decade at the age of 8 and left it at 18. A lot of crap happens between then and then and a person's life, and particularly in mine.

Despite my contrary wishes, I was forced to live through it, and I was thus exposed, Clockwork Orange-style, to the full gamut of 80s music. I just took an 80s music lyrics quiz -- found here -- and did surprisingly well (or at least better than you'd expect of someone who has blocked out most of the decade as an incessant series of traumas). In fact, my score entitles me to decorate Banality Fair with this lovely graphic:

(I cannot tell a lie, though: My wife helped.) Anyway, I/we got a 93.5. The score is age-adjusted, so you get extra points if you're from an age group that did not place you in 8th grade earth science class when the Challenger exploded. If you have a spare half-hour, check it out. Or, volunteer to feed the homeless or something. It's up to you.


Blogger Joseph K said...

After eating my and everyone else's lunch in poker last night, I suggest you take your winnings and buy yourself an 80's box set. It'll probably be the only place where you'll find Rockwell's "Somebody's Watching Me" still in circultation.

Worst "hit" song of the 1980s: Eddie Murphy's "My Girl Wants To Party All The Time." Unlike his comedy songs ("In Your Butt," etc.), the sad thing was that he was actually trying. That song was also Rick James's (RIP) worst work as a producer.

Now, back to listening to the Kool & The Gang's "Live at P.J.'s" album. It is a 1976 Kool & the Gang live album which is just incredible (before they sold out in the 1980s and wrote cheesy, shitty songs, K & the G was an incredible jazz funk outfit).

7:47 PM  
Blogger Henry Baum said...

Man, I sucked at this. I was surprised and kind of proud just how much I sucked. I couldn't get past number 10. Then my wife jumped on board and we ended up getting an 88. If only I hadn't spelled "Jessie's Girl" with two apostrophes. Dammit!

...I like the Temptations Sly Stone psychedelic period.

2:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The absoulte worst song of the 80s, in fact of all time, is "The Lady in Red." Do any of you remember that song? Who was responsible for that nonsense?

4:36 PM  
Blogger Joseph K said...

What are you some non-romantic type? "Lady in Red" was the all time best junior high slow dance song of all time. Even if the girl was not wearing red, I'd imagine her wearing red. Who am I kidding. I was dancing with myself. And, yes, sometimes I imagine myself wearing a red dress.

10:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I didn't attend school dances in junior high, or high school for that matter. It appears that I didn't miss out on much.

11:21 AM  
Blogger Joseph K said...

I just did the test and got a 91.5 (graded on a curve, but still). I too am a pop junkie.

Speaking of school dances, has anyone read about the California school that has canceled school dances for the year because the students were "freak dancing" (basically rubbing against each others loins to dance beats)? Kids are out of control these days (and lucky apparently, too).

4:00 PM  
Blogger Joseph K said...

I posted a comment, but it never appeared. It may at some point; apologize for the redundancy if it eventually appears, but impatience got the better of me. finally took the quiz and got a 91.5 (Pop Junkie as well).

Speaking of school dances, a high school in CA has canceled school dances for a year because students had repeatedly broke the no "freak dancing" rule. Freaking is basically dry humping to a good beat. Intoducing Footloose 2, the Sequel...

5:50 PM  

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