Dennis Hastert, My Hero

Who woulda thunk it: Dennis Hastert is a closeted Democrat! Yesterday, Hastert administered the oath of office to the Vice Presidential Dick. In administering the oath, however, Hastert made three errors.

Hastert obviously had one thing on his mind: "I will nefariously foul up the oath, so as to pave the way for a later court challenge to the Dick's authority to serve as Vice President. After all, a Vice President who has taken a defective oath has taken no oath at all, and thus has no authority to do the things a Vice President does. The Dick will be brought down."

Brilliant plan. Unfortunately, the Dick was onto Denny's plan, and carefully corrected each of the three errors, scrupulously adhering to the text of the actual, legally-mandated oath. Curses!

Word on the street is that the Dick plans to retaliate against Denny's failed coup by systematically failing to adhere to any of the promises made in the oath, especially the promise to "support and defend" the Constitution.