Comin' back from Cali, from Cali, from Cali ...

I have just returned from 9 days in rainy, shitty California. A couple quick thoughts before I jet off to see REM play on this momentous election eve.

1. Anyone who tries to tell you that California has no weather is lying or stupid. I didn't wear a pair of shorts once there and my toes never touched water. (Excepting that shower I took.)

2. Movie stars are just like you and me. They live in mansions, drive Aston Martins, and dine off plates made of the shinbones of Himalayan llamas. We saw Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Philippe in a park with their children. They were flying a kite made of hundred-dollar bills on a silk string that a custom-engineered spider was weaving for them in real time.

3. Inexplicably, Southern Californians have a real hard-on for hamburgers. It seems strange in such an anorexic culture, but they can't stop talking about In-N-Out and Carl's Jr. In-N-Out does, however, offer a burger "protein-style," with lettuce leaves instead of bread. I prefer mine "carb-style," with more bun instead of meat or other condiments.

4. Even though Kerry signs and stickers far outnumbered the Bush ones, I was still surprised at the amount of Bush/Cheney paraphernalia I saw in La-La Land. On the return trip, I connected in Dallas and quickly stashed by Kerry/Edwards pin for fear of arrest by Tom DeLay's knuckle-dragging henchmen.

Anyway, off to REM. I'm hoping for a high-profile secret guest. Like Ernest Borgnine, triumphantly announcing he has changed his vote to Kerry!