Sunday, October 31, 2004

Detached From Reality/Celebrity Endorsements

I frequent many of the left-wing and right-wing blogs. It is kind of sad and amusing to watch the folks on these sites cling onto whatever sliver of evidence there is that their guy is winning to self-assure. The fact is no one knows shit and won't know shit until about 11ish Tuesday night. It is pathetic to listen to some loser on The Corner or Daily Kos gush effusively about the long line at some voting center in Broward County or in Boise.

That said, it is a good time to take stock of celebrity endorsements, because there are a pretty useless predictor of the nation's sentiment...therefore, they are about as useful as the latest polls. Evaluate them, then you decide which list is more persuasive and may affect your choice. I have to admit Ernest Borgnine's endorsement almost tipped me to Bush....Diddy hasn't endorsed any candidate (and as of recently had not registered), but remember his call to arms: Vote or Die! (Banality Fair chooses...Vote!).


For Kerry: Brad Pitt, Gwenyth Paltrow, Jack Black, Ben Affleck, Bruce Springsteen, Bette Midler, John Mellencamp, Jon Bon Jovi, Dixie Chicks, Lenny Kravitz, Larry and Laurie David, Jenna Jameson (is the whole porn industry behind him? Larry Flynt's a Kerry man too), Nelly, Moby, Eminem (?), Ashton Kutcher, Jake Gyllenhaal, Rob "Meathead" Reiner, Scarlett Johansson, Rebecca Romijn, Matt Damon, Al Franken, Kevin Bacon, Whoopie Goldberg, Jessica Lange, Susan Sarandon, Tim Robbins, Leonardo DiCaprio, Chevy Chase, Opie Cunnigham aka Ron Howard, Robert DeNiro, Michael Douglas, Stephen King, Charlize Theron, Uma Thurman, Patti LaBelle, Natalie Portman, John Stewart, Babyface, Sharon Stone, Robin Williams, Sherryl Crow, Billy Crystal, Ozzy Osbourne, Oliver Stone

Bush: Curt Schilling, John Smolz, Mario Andretti, Ted Nugent (Kill it and Grill it, baby!), Ahnuld, Jessica Simpson, Britney Spears, Darrell Waltrip, Bill Elliott, Ron Silver, Dale Earnhart Jr (strange, thought he encouraged people to see Farenheit 9/11...edorsements at issue, probably), ex-con Don King, Kid Rock, Bo Derek, Brooks & Dunn, Stephen Baldwin, Lynrd Skynrd, celebrity anorexic Laura Flynn Boyle, Heather Locklear, vampire slayer Sarah Michelle Gellar, Rachel Hunter (?!?), former supermodel and godawful actress Kathy Ireland, Matt LeBlanc, Mandy Moore, Freddie Prinze, Jr., Adam Sandler, Shannen Doherty, Angie Harmon, Aerosmith's Steven Tyler, Johnny Ramone, Dennis Hopper, Jason Preistly, Kelsey Grammar, Reba McIntyre, Ernest Borgnine, Wayne Newton


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dennis Hopper is supporting Bush?! What's that about?

2:55 PM  
Blogger Spiral Stairs said...

Everyone on the Bush list either now lives in a trailer park, has lived in a trailer park, or will live in a trailer park in about, oh, 14 minutes or so.

7:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Poor and working class whites are flocking to the Republican Party because of patronzing comments like yours, Spiral Stairs.

8:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lighten up, Anonymous...or "self" or whatever...It was just a joke. Anyways, a lot of rural and poor voters are flocking to the Republican Party not because of what SS said or supposed urban conceits, but because of the "values" issue.

9:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lighten up Anonymous...or "self" or whatever...It was just a joke. anyways, poor and rural voters are flocking to the Republicans because of the values issue, not any urban conceits....

10:10 AM  
Blogger Spiral Stairs said...

Hey, that wasn't even me who said "Lighten up." There are other people here?

Anyway, to the anonymous complainer: I say, puh-leeze. Yes, my comment was patronizing. I make all sorts of patronizing jokes to small crowds that I wouldn't make in the New York Times. I doubt too many working-class undecideds are tooling around Banality Fair ready to be offended.

If there is a working-class undecided tooling around here, please let us know, because we'd like to display you in a new zoo exhibit called, "The Undecided Voter (Stupidus Democratus) in its natural habitat."

10:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I understand that it was meant to be a joke, but Spiral Stair’s commment has very serious implications nonetheless. No matter whether it is stated in a blog read by handful of “hip” urbanites or the NYT, it communicates a certain value system that I think many people (especially in the rural south) find alienating. I think this issue is worth bringing to the surface and discussing. Furthermore, it doesn’t matter that a "working class undecided" is unlikely to read this website - I read it, I think it’s bullshit, and I called it out.

12:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

By the way, Spiral Stairs, this is Anonymous the critic...I am just trying to gin up some controvesy and posts are a bit tongue in cheek....that said, stop dissing the poor!

4:03 PM  

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