Sunday, December 19, 2004

Welcome to Our Fuck Pad

One of the interesting things that you get to see when you have a blog is how people find your site. We have a little counter attached to this page that tells us how people got here -- whether they were referred by another site, or have linked from somewhere else, or even found us by a Google search. (Don't worry, privacy hounds. It's all very vague stuff. Unless you sign your name with your IP address, we can't tell who is who.)

Getting to see what Google searches have sent people our way is particularly interesting. For instance, on December 16th, at 11:08 a.m., some poor soul stumbled across our site because they searched for "fuck pad" on Google. That phrase happens to show up in Joseph K's entry about Bernard Kerik. When I saw that someone had found us that way, I felt like I had found a message in a bottle sitting in the sand on the beach. Where did Mr. Fuck Pad Searcher come from? What was he (or she? Nah.) looking for? Rental listings for fully equipped Fuck Pads? Or maybe a site dedicated to the hatred of a man named Pad? Or is he someone who is really, really against Thai food?

Of course, Mr. Fuck Pad Searcher didn't just find Banality Fair after executing that search. He clicked on it. And he did so after cruising through four pages of other responsive links. Here is what you get when you run that search. Clicking through to page 4 of the links, you see our site. And all you can see in the Google search results under Banality Fair is: "... No, it was the fuck pad frequented by competing mistresses and the ties to businesses linked to the mob that's got everyone in a lather. ..."

Now, whatever purpose Mr. Fuck Pad Searcher had for running his search, what could possibly have been in that snippet that would cause him to click on us? Did he say, "Finally -- a Fuck Pad rental agency that allows competing mistresses and mob ties!" Or did he say, "This sounds like the work of my arch-enemy, the nefarious Pad. Fuck him!"

I ask you, Mr. Fuck Pad Searcher, if you return to the site, please let us know. We must know.


Blogger Henry Baum said...

Naked Britney Spears pics. The searches are going to come rolling in. Thanks for the link. I got a hit from the Bernard Kerik post--as if Fuckpad took a look at the post and thought he'd try his hand at Ash Tree. I wonder what he thought he'd find there. A whole lot of nudity.

3:02 PM  
Blogger Joseph K said...

I am planning to write a post titled "Anal Sex," that will be about the current debate over the solvency of the Social Security system. I should probably start it off with, "It is sore and wounded, and maybe in need of a good fix, but inserting some long, hard probing...solution involving a radical overhaul of the system is fraught with risks. First, the solvency issue is debatable. Second,..."

10:34 PM  

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