Saturday, August 05, 2006

The Running Of The Brides

Every year, a certain Filene's Basement (FB) in D.C. stages a "Running of the Brides." Basically, FB slashes the prices of its bridal gowns, and then opens its doors to a mass of women.

What ensues next is carnage. Its like a swarm of pirhanas descending on a wounded cow that stumbled into the Amazon. The dress racks are picked clean in seconds. Some women arrive in gangs, and the weaker women are stripped of the finer fare. The floor at FB at these events often flows with the blood of the weak.

Authorities had implemented several security measures to contain the casualties, but this year's casualties were comparable to last years, 6 dead and 43 injured. Not all the news was bad, though. Amy Johnson was gushed to a local paper, "I got the greatest dress ever! For $349! I hope the blood stains come out eventually."

We do too, Amy.


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