Wednesday, May 09, 2007

In Honor of Ray Hudson

I am a huge soccer fan. I watch at least 2 big matches every weekend. Recently, I started to get more into La Liga, the top Spanish league. It broadcasts on GOL TV. It was watching La Liga games that I came to learn of and develop an appreciation for their main La Liga announcer, Ray Hudson.

Last weekend, I was watching Real Madrid take on Sevilla in a tight battle for at the top of the standings. It was an unbelievable match. Tied at 1-1, Real's diminuitive Brazilian striker Robhino runs onto a perfect pas and finishes beautifully to take the lead. He celebrates wildly taking off his shirt. He got a yellow card for excessive celebration. It was his second, which meant a red. He was sent off.

Hudson says, "Oh, he was just too ecstatic. He was just having an orgasm." What?

But that is a typical Hudsonism. There are a bunch of similar Hudson quotes found on his Wikipedia page. Here are my favorites:

"This team was as dangerous as my grandmother knitting a quilt."

"Congratulations, Seamus Malin -- you ugly man. Oh, come on, you didn't think he got (in the Soccer Hallof Fame) on his looks, did you?"

"It'll be real interesting when me and dog arewatching the game tonight, and we're looking, and I'll kick him a couple of times. The dog is going to get acouple of kicks because of the chances that I believewe missed."

"He needs to be on his tippy-toes, like a midget at a urinal."

"Cannavaro is running around like a three-legged giraffe out there, but it's effective."

"Just like a Turkish bellydancer on a surfboard, Ronaldinho skipping through the tulips"

"You've gotta come up with a better coat than this when you're out with a lady like that. What is this? Aparka at Ice Station Zebra?" -- December 2006, pickingon a fan in the crowd spotted with a beautiful blonde during Barcelona's match vs. Atletico Madrid

"Kovalenko for me was outstanding also in his football, not just his gritty performance. He's a footballer; he's got great feet. He's a good link man, a great outlet, he challenges ... he would stab hisgrandmother in the eye for another bowl of porridge."

"Both sides letting fish off the hook the size of sperm whales! A sperm whale isn't a fish, is it? It'sa mammal. But you know what I mean."

"Ronaldinho there, trickier than a squirrel running ona telephone wire."

"Barcelona have been constipated in front of goal. It's like a 3 pound chicken trying to lay a 4 pound egg."

More, Ray, more...


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