Thursday, May 03, 2007

Notes on Republican Debate in California

The Republican debate was held at the Reagan Presidential library. From what I can tell, there are no books. Just blow-dried hair, too much make-up and a replica of the 1980s era Air Force One.

On a completely different note, Time magazine just came out with their list of the 100 most influential people. Borat is on the list. None of these guys are. Some context.

8:03 -- Giuliani gets the first question on Republican unpopularity. He points to Reagan as being Mr. Optimism. Frankly, didn't Reagan seem good because Carter was so inept. Like how we feel more attractive standing next to ugly people?

8:05 -- McCain is making me think Iran is about to attack any moment now. Like Phil might. You know who you are, and let's leave it at that.

8:08 -- Gilmore says we want a president who is commands from a position of strength. For the man who helped lower my car tax, I thought he was going to say that he wants a president who puts more money in my pocket to allow me to detail my car. Because if people want that, he is your guy. My car looks good.

8:11 -- Brownback indirectly says Shinseki was right that hundreds of thousands of troops were needed to secure Iraq after the initial invasion. An answer that is a nominee for tonight's unintentional moment of honesty award.

8:14 -- Ron Paul is the less angry Gravel of this debate. I think he wants to bust the railroad oligarchy or something. He is the James Garfield of the Repulican slate. Let's hope he lasts longer in office if he wins.

8:17 -- Tancredo is incomprehensible. Doesn't The Office start soon? He bores me, even after 36 seconds. I think the problem is that he is sounding insufficiently crazy.

8:20 -- Romney wants to kill Bin Laden with his bare hands. I want to do the same to Casper. Casper, you know why. I don't know why these candidates make me wan to settle personal scores. But, it is on.

8:22 -- Almost every Republican candidate doesn't want anyone foreign born to be president. Delightfully honest xenophobia. Not so delightful for Schwartzenegger who is in the audience.

8:24 -- To Giuliani, dealing with blacks only involves dealing with crime and welfare. I have some black friends who might want to not rob him to prove him wrong. And then, they might later rob him to get some extra spending cash, not because they need to.

8:29 -- Abortion, Abortion, Abortion. This is where I come closest to these guys. I am pro life, pro choice. A libertarian view. If a woman feels like she can kill her fetus in good conscience, it is her call. Tancredo is talking about a 40,000,000 person holocaust. Not productive.

8:40 -- Interesting discussion on whether one's faith should influence one's decsion-making. Of course it does/should. Unless you are an astronomist or whatever those guys who look through telescopes and make shit up are called. Those folks are delusional and need help.

8:42 -- Duncan Hunter just said he built an immigration fence all by himself. Would have been less labor-intensive and cheaper if he used illegal immigrants to do the job. I'm just saying.

8:46 -- Thompson makes the 26th reference to Reagan. I only mention this because I am playing the "mention Ronald Reagan" drinking game. I am drunk. No, seriously, I am really wasted. Stop saying Reagan, dudes.

8:51 -- I think I hear Giuliani sighing loudly. Is he about to punch Ron Paul for no reason? He should because there is one reason it would be ok: this shit is boring.

8:57 -- If I heard Jim Gilmore right, he is all for locking up as many single, black mothers as he can. Did he just manage to weave in Reasan too? Ok, I'll drink. What? He didn't say Reagan? Oops. Heh, heh.

9:10 -- Hunter is afraid of immigrants. Brown is bad. If someone threw the UPS slogan at him -- what can brown do for you -- he'd say the best thing is mow my grass and head the heck home.

9:11 -- Giuliani is asked what the sifference is between Sunnis and Shiites. From best I can tell, Giuliani believes Sunnis are "sunnier" and Shiites are "shiitier." Next question.

9:15 -- Mike Huckabee is asked about cronyism in the Bush administration. All I can think is that while he has lost 100 pounds, he needs to lose 20 more. I'm just saying.

9:18 -- Romney is actually pretty darn good.

9:30 -- Everyone fears Clinton, think they are generally different/better than Bush. Reagan again? I'm out of wine. And I'm out of interest. Just in time for me to pass out.


Blogger Alexei said...

Great stuff. Could you rank these guys in order of who is most likely to pull a Willie Horton/Cousin Pookie?

2:07 PM  

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