Thursday, April 26, 2007

Notes On SC Democratic Debate

My notes from watching the SC Democratic debate...

7:01 -- Shot of candidates. Richardson looks constipated. And jowly. Dodd is pretty jowly too. If people chose their presidents by jowl-sized, these two would be the front-runners. I think I counted 8 chins on Dodd.

7:03 -- A Keebler elf employed by a local news station is going to be aiding Brian Williams in the questioning. Elf power!

7:07 -- Obama is giving a rambling non-sequitur response to a question about why he called the war dumb.

7:09 -- Clinton says this election should not be about what happened in the past re Iraq, but what people will do now. She's impressing.

7:14 -- Who is this grumpy old man Gravel? He wants to criminalize everything. Felony to stay in Iraq? He's about to literally explode, and it's awesome.

7:17 -- Obama stumbles through another answer. He's crumbling.

7:20 -- Where is Biden? They aren't calling on him. Screw that, more Gravel!

7:23 -- Richardson is sweating through his make-up. At the end of the debate he will be an sweaty pile of incoherence.

7:25 -- Dodd gets asked a question about him having the most "Washington experience." Hasn't Biden served as long as he has? Where is Biden?

7:26 -- Even Kucinich is being asked questions. Where is Biden.

7:27 -- Finally they ask Biden a question. Can you be lees worthy and gaffe-prone? "Yes." That's it until 8 probably.

7:28 -- Gravel says he's scared of all the candidates. I think he might punch someone. And Kucinich is closest to him. And that makes it ok.

7:33 -- Obama's ears are distracting.

7:44 -- The questions about domestic issues bore me.

7:49 -- I hear Richardson likes to booze it up. I wouldn't mind going on a bender with him. And maybe if I did, this response about health care would make more sense.

7:52 -- Gravel declares that he is not a potted plant. I agree. Get this man more air time.

8:00 -- Richardson is asked to state what he would do on his first day in office in one sentence. He speaks for a full minute.

8:04 -- Gravel claims the military industrial complex controls government, the world. Lockheed and I both disagree.

8:12 -- Obama is imploding. He's asked what he would do militarily, overseas, if America suffers two terrorist attacks simultaneously in two major American cities. Why is he talking about Katrina? Someone has shuffled his talking points.

8:18 -- Oh yeah, Dodd is still here. He's asked about his views on gay marriage. I don't care what he has to say. I wonder instead about why so many women I know think feet are disgusting. Strange.

8:21 Gravel says there has been terrorism since the beginning of time. He implores us not to fight terrorism because it won't work. What the hell is he talking about and why won't they let him talk more?

8:23 -- Clinton has impressed. I don't want to be a fan, but here I am. I want to like Obama, but ever time he speaks, it is fingernails on a chalkboard.

8:28 -- Biden has the line of the night, smacking Kucinich down for all his "happy talk" about the real threats that face America. Later on, I wonder if Biden will regret saying that when he sees Kucinich's wife. I am pretty sure she is a witch.


Anonymous A said...

Why no blog time for Edwards? I think you're treating him like a potted plant.

10:01 PM  
Blogger Joseph K said...

He was solid. Unspectacular, but effective. Gravel clearly won the potted plant award of the night. He not only owned that title. He claimed it.

10:07 PM  

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