Meat

*Update* -- see a picture of Kate Stelnick, the 115 pound cutie who ate the six pound burger as mentioned below, here. So greasy, so sexy. She even has her own web page. And, get this: Ms. Stelnick donated the gift certificate she won for eating the burger to help the victims of last year's tsunami. She is the greatest woman ever.

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I was having lunch with Banality Fair alum Cotton Mather last week, and we decided to go to a steakhouse near our office that has great burgers. They are huge and, when coupled with fries or white cheddar mashed potatoes, can induce a food coma. Cotton digs them so much, that he refuses to eat the delicious (and free) cornbread for which the steakhouse is also known. "I don't want the bread to interfere in any way with my enjoyment of the beef," he explained. I think Cotton likes meat more than any person I know. The minute his baby gets teeth, it'll be out with the pureed peas, and in with beef brisket.

But I am not sure he likes beef this much. A Pennsylvania eatery, Denny's Beer Barrel Pub, has a 15 pound burger on its menu. According to the linked story, the "burger comes with 10.5 pounds of ground beef, 25 slices of cheese, a head of lettuce, three tomatoes, two onions, a cup-and-a-half each of mayonnaise, relish, ketchup, mustard and banana peppers — and a bun." I wonder what they use to slather on the 7.5 cups of condiments. A mop?

The restaurant had previously offered a 6 pound burger, which had been first conquered by a 115 pound female college student in February. See this to learn more about my love for thin, yet gluttonous women. When another restaurant tried to trump Denny's Beer Barrel Pub by offering a 12.5 pound burger, Denny's Beer Barrel Pub responded with its 15 pound beast-burger.

According to a the guy who owns the restaurant, it's a real deal. The burger costs $30, but, "it can feed a family of 10." And then eventually kill them.