Thursday, February 10, 2005

I Hate Georgetown

If you've visited DC, you've probably visited Georgetown. If you live in DC, you very well may live in or near Georgetown. I am here to tell you to stay the fuck away from that God-forsaken cesspool of excess, amorality, and conformity.

Last night, I had to walk through Georgetown to get to the University. I don't go to Georgetown very much; it is actually quite difficult to get to. The train doesn't go there; parking is extremely difficult; and only native DC residents (of which I am not one) ever ride the bus. (There is an ongoing debate, or at least competing mythologies, about why no train goes through Georgetown. Many will say it is because wealthy Georgetowners didn't want a noisy, hoi-polloi-transporting conveyance rumbling under their 19th century townhomes. But others say that's bunk, that in fact it is because the subway would have to be located extremely deep under the ground in Georgetown, due to its proximity to the Potomac River.) So on those few occasions when I'm there, I approach it with an unfamiliar eye.

Throughout my walk, I became increasingly disgusted with the area, until I was clenching my fists and cursing loudly. I didn't know why, but Georgetown was really pissing me off. But I eventually figured it out. Here is the recipe for creating Georgetown: Take Greenwich Village in Manhattan. Vigorously scrub away all character. (Or at least all that remains in the Village.) Replenish the resulting population deficiency with rich white suburban transplants. Plop it down in a city already hurting for charisma.

Oh, and give it really narrow sidewalks while you're at it.

Voila, Georgetown. All the stupidity, expense, and annoyance of Greenwich Village without any of the charm or character. Why people view it as such a desirable neighborhood is beyond me. It's ungodly expensive. Last night, I bought a Milky Way and a diet Sprite (20 oz. bottle) at a corner deli. The price? $2.90. Don't even try to parse that out. There is no way, outside complex game theory, to make that price anything close to reasonable. I figure about $1 of it paid for the products; about $0.90 went to the store; and the remaining $1 went into the Fund To Pave Georgetown's Streets With Papier Mache Made Of Shredded Money.

What do you get for all this inconvenience? An Urban Outfitters. A Johnny Rocket's. Some optical shops that sell $1,000 eyeglass frames. A steep hill. (Which comes equipped with the staircase from the Exorcist, though. So it's got that going for it.) A university full of the overprivileged and underprincipled. "Quaint" (read: annoying) surroundings.

Fuck Georgetown.

10 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Georgetown sucks. But the characterisation of the students is incorrect. Of course there are a lot of rich kids, but many on scholarship trying to make it happen.

Besides that sometimes you can get nice clothes in some of the shops. Of course, there is nothing unique about the selection - except of course that shopping in D.C. is nearly impossible given the lack of stores.

BTW - the subway being rejected by "patricians" is true. Trust me.

The fascinating development is that the roads there are so horrible. That makes me wonder.

As a longtime D.C. resident, I can tell you that G'town was always the neighbourhood that was "so fresh and so clean". Now my neighbourhood Adams Morgan has better roads.

While gentrification gets part of the credit, I am also left to ponder another issue. Are better city services distributed to those areas that pay more taxes? This has been a longstanding principal in all municipalities throughout the U.S. (see public schools).

With regards to the difference in the road quality between G'town and A.M. my curiosity is peaked. While the city's wealthy have long resided there why are their roads so crappy?

The answer it seems is one of the following:
1. The residents of A.M. pay more taxes, or 2. The residents of G'town are "unfairly" not receiving the fruit of their taxes (some kind of socialist redistribution of wealth).

My theory: the residents of A.M. do pay more taxes. The university students are largely not adding to the city's coffers, and the "patrician" residents of G'town have taken advantage of tax shelters to the detriment of their roads. That's why their roads suck. (No b.s. about the exploding potholes as excuses please).

10:05 AM  
Blogger Joseph K said...

When I was in college, I used to hang out at this place called Georgetown Cafe (on Wisconsin Ave on the northern end of the shopping district) when I came back to visit. A buddy of mine was going to Georgetown and it was convenient and cheap. We'd usually exchange long, surreal stories about women we were interested in and were clumsily courting while drinking cheap, crap coffee and eating greasy nachos. There is a soft spot in my heart for that place. Otherwise, the place is useless.

9:45 PM  
Anonymous Matt said...

I go to GU, and I'm pretty much miserable most of the time. The people here ARE fake and ARE annoying and I'm afraid it's sucking the life out of me. I agree that the 'Georgetown Café' is a nice escape. It's so out of place, yet so wonderful.

11:42 AM  
Blogger EMBHOYA said...

Hey Charlie fuck off and dont come back. If successfull driven people offend you then good riddance. Go find an area where the people actually care whether they spend $1.90 or $2.90 on a fucking soda and candy bar.

10:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fuck Georgetown Shirts

http://www.cafepress.com/fuckgeorgetown

3:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, embhoya:

Q) Why can't "successfull" people spell successful?

A) Because their parents bought the candy bar and soda - fucking loser.

11:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Georgetown students are always gonna go farther in life than you you're just jealous that you're never gonna have the power and prestige that we will sucks to be you :p

4:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Georgetown students are always gonna go farther in life than you you're just jealous that you're never gonna have the power and prestige that we will sucks to be you :p"

I can't speak for the OP, but I know why I'd be jealous: from my life experiences, the kind of people who make the kind of statement that you made tend to be childish & narcissistic; and in my view, people like that are undeserving of power and prestige. Sure, on the surface, braggarts such as yourselves may look powerful to those of us not "blessed" with Abercrombie & Fitch genes. Luckily, some of us end up realizing that, on the inside, your ilk is nothing more a bunch of pathetic green blobs that like to paint other people's hearts that same pitch of green. So no, I'm pretty sure it doesn't suck to not be that kind of "person."

11:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Georgetown is beautiful, and fascinating. I would never want to live there, or have to go through it daily, however.

This can be said of 99% of other sub-areas of cities, you know.

11:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i just love those that hate Georgetown. Are you kind to the people there who do not seem like the snobs you despise? Do you take an opportunity to connect with one - hold a door open, make small talk, a quick 'hello'? probably not on all occasions.

so let the Georgetown locals be what they aspire to be. let them be among their peers, and enjoy their time there.

the real problem is that you do nothing to counter the anonymity and isolation that most might feel in DC.

11:16 PM  

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