Alberto Gonzalez Asks: Can I Get A Kiss Too?

Every day, it seems like there is another picture of Bush making out with one of his new female cabinet nominees to show how much he values women as equals and important members of his administration. I am assuming he is equally smoochy with men; he was a cheerleader after all.

Based on the snapshots I have seen, Bush is a purse-lipped smoocher, not so much a an open mouth tonsil washer. Which is considerate given the amount of time Condi and this Spellings character (I hope she is better at this Education Department gig than she was on Beverly Hills 90210) put into applying their lipstick. But for made up women, they give off an air of frigidity that would make any man's balls jump.

And, then, there was sweet Albert Gonzalez. All he got was a pat on the back when he got nominated. A hearty handsake. No kiss. Not even a light peck. They didn't even give the diminuitive AG nominee something to stand on, for Christ's sake. I mean the man was willing to write a memorandum saying just about anything for the team. Here's some advice to the next male nominee: if you want to get a kiss, try wearing a nice skirt.