Thursday, May 19, 2005

Killing Me Softly With His Song

I recently found out I had a cavity and needed to get a filling. But, my dentist, Dr. L, is a pro. Had my first cavity in many years three years ago, which he filled with a dexterity and skill that thoroughly justified his inclusion on the Washingtonian's annual list of the best dentists in D.C.

It is because of his skill and cheery demeanor that I tolerate the mindnumbing banality of his offices. The corny "Born to Golf, Forced to Work" placard and similar posters. The picture of his perfect kids with their perfect collie. The easy listening swill that plays when I'm at his offices, which you all know I hate.

But Tuesday, Dr. L went too far. I was in the chair. The drill was whirring. Michael McDonald's "I Keep Forgetting" was playing over the office speaker system. Ok, fine. Then, Dr. L started singing. Ok, not fine. He was horrible. The novocaine was insufficient to numb the pain in my psyche.

I am particularly qualified to make this assessment. Among the few skills I have is this: I do a mean Michael McDonald impression. It is somewhat of a mystery as to how I learned that I have this skill. But, have it I do. In fact, when I was living in New York, this friend of mine and me used to do a terrific version of the Michael McDonald-Patti LaBelle duet "On My Own." My friend did a spot on Patti Labelle impression. Man, that dude could sing.


Blogger Earl Cootie said...

My dentist has headphones and you can bring your own CD or rummage through his collection of adult alternative. I never remember to bring anything, and so end up listening to Indigo Girls or something. Not great, but not miserable either.

PS - I do a mean Rickie Lee Jones (or is it a drunk Rickie Lee Jones?)

11:20 PM  
Blogger Stefanie said...

Okay, now I'm going nuts. Did Michael McDonald ever do a duet with Anita Baker, or did my mind create that in the "Too Perfect" category of my brain? Is it because they both sing like they're wearing athletic mouthguards and my mind just lumped them together? My God, did this really happen??

1:39 AM  
Blogger Joseph K said...

Nah, I don't think they did a duet together. But, wasn't Anita Baker in Skunk Baxter's Doobie Brothers spin-off band, the Doobie Sisters? The thing that worked about the McDonald-LaBelle duet is that Labelle's sharp voice nicely complemented McDonald's nasally, high-pitched caterwauling. I think if you put Baker and McDonald together you might have the most moanamatic/nasally/phelgmatic song ever. Which indeed may not be a bad thing.

Ricky Lee Jones? We all have a talent. Anyone else have a musical impersonation they want to share? (It's easy for Kimberly because all she has to do is stand there, not say a word and just be Gretchen Wilson.)

8:56 AM  
Blogger Stefanie said...

I do an okay Bjork and a decent Melissa Etheridge

1:39 PM  
Blogger Magazine Man said...

Oh, that's good. Now "On My Own" is stuck in my head...

12:42 AM  
Blogger tequilita said...

i've been told i can sound like bonnie raitt...that's the biggest compliment i've ever gotten. the gretchen wilson thing...well, i finally saw her perform with heart on the cmt awards. they did "crazy on you" -she absolutely nailed it. after that, i guess it's not such a bad thing.

9:31 PM  
Blogger Joseph K said...

Well, I think it's official. I have the lamest musical impersonation skills.

11:04 PM  

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