Sunday, March 05, 2006

Saab Story

Been away from the blog for too long. Mostly out of laziness, combined with busy-ness, with some sex, international travel and rock n' roll folded in for good measure. Good things, little bad, but next week, I'm happy to say, I'm going to visit Joseph K and try to cheer him up a bit.

Someone in a large, red F150 truck killed my car a few weeks ago, so I've been riding a scooter in the dead of winter. Taking the bus when it's too horrible to contemplate zipping around in near-zero temperatures, but otherwise showing up to work looking like a blue Michelin man, though with long, brown hair and a very runny nose.

So, there I was, shivering at a stop light, getting ready to ride and freeze from a position of sitting and freezing. A woman in a white Saab was in the lane next to me, basking in her heated leather interior, talking on a cell phone. The light turned green, and I pulled ahead of her. Suddenly, she hit the gas and zoomed past me...only to be stopped at the next stop light about 100 yards off. I pulled up next to her and looked at her quizzically. She looked back at me. The light turned green, I sped ahead, she hit the gas and beat me to the next light. This went on for the next four lights.

What possessed her to race a frozen girl on a scooter -- top speed 35 mph -- in a Saab -- top speed 150-200 mph? What could she possibly have wanted to prove? "Yes," I yearned to cry through chattering teeth, as if she could hear me over her cell phone and surround-sound stereo system. "Yes. You win! Congratulations! You will always win if you're racing against a scooter. You're in a Saab, bitch!"

At the next light, she revved her engine and looked over at me, smiling in some vaguely malicious way, issuing her challenge. I smiled back and hatched my plan. Because my scooter is considered a "motorized bicycle" and no cops were around, I drove it onto the sidewalk, crossed the intersection via the crosswalk, and was on my way, leaving her in my wintery dust.

Scooter 1, Saab 0.


Blogger Jenn said...

LOL - well done!

7:57 PM  
Blogger Sharfa said...

That was great!
What a bitch she was.

10:15 AM  

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